Why I Stopped Writing Blogs
And how the longer I waited for the next made it that much more difficult start again
July 7th, 2022. Another ordinary day that I just jotted a few lines down about some of the important lessons that I got to learn through a specific line of events that transpired in my life at the time and hit the button to publish it on Medium under my name. 409 days have passed since then and it’s with such regret I have to admit the reality that I haven’t clicked on the same button for over a year. A couple of days back, though I was still aware of the fact that I had stopped in the back of my head all throughout, I started actively thinking about why for 400+ days I couldn’t get myself to produce a single line. I wanted to find the reason behind the issue so I can take measures to address it. So following that train of thoughts now I’ve arrived at a handful conclusions and speculations as to why such a thing happened (or did not happen), that I’m ready to write down as a new article for my future self and anybody out there who might be with similar conditions.
I remember there were a few times in that period the thought of writing a new blog article did pop up in my mind. Only for me to dismiss the idea thinking how stupid the idea was. Every blog idea my brain could come up with there was an inner critic to say horrible things about it and shut it down even before they saw the light of the day. Writing a blog, or just producing something, any piece of content, out of nowhere into existence is difficult. Many people have ideas, grand plans to make truly remarkable things, but only a very small proportion of them are willing to put in the time and effort to bring those ideas to life. It might be the case that as soon as I come up with an idea my brain realising the amount of work I actually have to do it make it a reality just turn the idea down by pointing out how terrible the idea actually is because that’s the easier way out. So this behavior, repeating a couple of times prevented me from writing anything for a long while.
Which leads us into the next point that acted as the toughest mental barrier that went hand in hand the previous one. I was thinking to myself, I’ve stopped writing for a while and there is a large gap between the last time I wrote one and now, so there’s no point in even thinking about it anymore cuz I haven’t consistently done it, even if I wrote one now everybody reading would instantly notice that I’ve taken a pretty long leave from writing blogs. And I’d come off as a person who doesn’t have the discipline to stick to something. Other people would notice it and more than them I myself would notice it and make that into my identity, a person who doesn’t have any consistency in endeavors that they pursue. After thinking so for many months I successfully gaslit myself into thinking that my writing phase was over because that was marginally a better way to accept the reality. It’s better to say “Oh I’ve outgrown the habit of writing, I decided to stop, now I don’t write anymore” than to say “Hey look here, here’s another article from the guy who doesn’t have any discipline or consistency whatsoever”
The longer I waited letting my brain play mind tricks on me it was increasingly difficult to start again. Now that I’ve realised how easy is it for my own mind to keep me fooled and make me believe arbitrary nonsense that didn’t exist anywhere but in my head I will try to keep writing frequently, every time I fall into the same pattern of thinking I’ll come back to this page and have a read. If it’s future me who’s reading this, don’t you dare reason your way out of doing things that matter, it maybe writing blogs, writing code, singing, learning music or anything else that makes you truly happy after you’ve done it, doesn’t matter what it is don’t fall into the lies of the stupid brain.
What made me write this down was something that I got to read on another blog article. And I can’t think of a better way of ending this than quoting the brilliant words of Sanjiva Weerawarana.
It is only too late if YOU decide it is. So, don’t.
